Driving home from the blues jam at Zydeco last night, after nearly having my ear drums busted out by another drummer, I was thinking it is no wonder the people of Alabama and the South can't wait for Judgement Day. If life is this bad, let's just get it over with, right?

Who cares about global warming or tainted pet food or lying politicians. Praise the Lord and pass the poison pie.

It just goes to show you, however, that at the very moment when you think all is lost, the best thing to do is wake up and smell the coffee and read a blog - and the world can look sunny and bright again.

For all you manic depressives out there, take heart. For like Scarlet O'Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day."

It turns out there is another progressive blog in Alabama, although it flies under the radar with the moniker Captain Plaid. Some super hero, eh? If you live in Alabama and think anything like I do, you might want to follow it, since it appears to focus a bit more on state and local issues than I have the will to do.

And like I always say, like Aristotle said, "I can learn from any man," here's another one to follow: SackSessions.Com.

Sen. Jeff Sessions, a Cheney puppet for sure

As you already know, Vice President Dick Cheney, a.k.a Mr. Burns, came to The Club in Birmingham the other day to help raise more than half a million dollars for the little kiss ass Senator from Mobile, Jeff Sessions.

Now if there were a truly revolutionary spirit alive in America, someone would have broken up this party, taken all their money and given it to the poor. But there ain't no Robin Hoods in the good ole US of A, only butt lickers who can't even manage to find the time and courage to carry a protest sign.

I've been writing a song of late called "Ain't No Man Up In The Sky.” If there was, there wouldn’t be no The Club, women would be allowed into The Masters clubhouse, and jobs for people like Sessions would be to wipe up vomit from the bathroom floor at Egan's.

But if I truly wanted to fit in around these parts on Easter Weekend, I wouldn’t say such nasty things. Perhaps I should don a robe and sandals and wander around Homewood claiming to be Jesus, speaking in parables. Hey, I’ve got the hair and the voice for it.

If you want to have some fun sometime - and this would make great radio fodder if anybody had the guts to do it – find a lifelong member of a Baptist church and quiz them on what it all means. Find someone who has been reading the Bible over and over again every day for 70 years and ask them to tell you what any of it means. Then sit back and listen to the BS. For those who have an ear, let them hear, indeed...

Or, you could just watch Richard Scrushy's religious show on local public access television. Now there's a joke for you.

I think my next song will be called, “Waiting On Judgment Day.” Maybe there will come a day when The Rapture comes and takes all the Christians away somewhere – so we can get on with saving the planet and creating a more peaceful, just world.

That bit about hell has more to do with life on Earth for the poor than anything else. Isn’t it about time we put the rich in hell? Let’s see if they can make it through the eye of a needle.

Or better yet, any votes for putting them all on camels and making them live in the new Dust Bowl in Northern Mexico?